Ingratitude and Gratitude
November 12th, 2009
Bismillah
My husband reminded me today and at first the impact wasn’t heavy on my mind and my heart. Sitting here in the dark while everyone sleeps is the only time I really can contemplate with full attention. As I sit here, I realize how ungrateful I really was and how much of a blessing it was for my husband to remind me.
Alhamdulillah, Allah has blessed us with a little more every time we move into a new place. We started off living at his father’s home when we were much younger (not even 20’s). The time there taught us a lot about life. We had our problems towards the end. You can imagine how rough it can get with people who come from two different cultures (my husband and I both being raised in America with our own type of jahiliyya and his father and step mom coming from overseas with their own cultural baggage). We then moved with his mom. The transition there occurred during a difficult time but it had to be done, and alhamdulillah it gave us the opportunity to grow and mature a bit more, learn a bit more about life and finally get out on our own.
Not long after that we moved into our own first place. It was a white house that wasn’t in the best shape but it was a good beginning for us. Our rent was cheap, we didn’t have many bills, and it was cold during the fall due to poor insulation. We used space heaters to keep warm and lots of blankets. We slept together at night to keep the heat in one spot. We didn’t own a stove so we bought two burners and a outdoor table to put it on. We had a medium sized fridge that we complained about sometimes but it really was a blessing Alhamdulillah. We dealt with plenty of leaks down in the basement but they got fixed. We had cool hippie neighbors that I miss.
A few months later we moved into our first apartment. Our first apartment was a huge blessing. We had such a beautiful lake around the corner of our apartment. The staff was great. We had a washer and dryer right outside the apartment that a few families shared. We were happy with this even though the apartment was tiny. We then moved out 2 years later into a bigger apartment. The view was even better. Our back door took us into a very private green area. We lived near a good park, a nice school with an awesome playground and we could walk to them by walking out our back door, without having anyone bother us along the way. We still didn’t have a washer and dryer and actually had to walk pretty far to get to it this time but our kitchen was bigger, rooms bigger, bathroom a lot bigger. We had more storage space. Our rent was a good price. The people were nice. And then we moved again.
It’s been a few months since our last move and we love it. By Allah’s Mercy, we now own a washer and a dryer. We have a much bigger place, a townhouse. We have our own fenced in backyard. We have wonderful neighbors. Our community is very family oriented and alhamdulillah things stay fairly quiet. In our first apartment we were robbed but alhamdulillah everything was fine. In our second apartment, right before we moved out, things started getting a bit bad. I hope things remain calm here for everyone bi’idhnillahi ta’ala. People are kind to each other, keep in touch, bring food to each other. Our backyard faces a very private green area. The kids and I can play back there and not be bothered. We now have 1.5 bathrooms. Honestly, I feel so blessed to be here.
But today I became ungrateful, again. Our neighbors in front of us have a lot more green front yard then we do. I found myself telling my husband how much it sucks that they have all that space and we don’t. He reminded me how blessed we are to have our apartment face such a nice green and private area in the back. We have a huge tree right outside our fenced in backyard. HUGE. Me and the kids go out there and we follow the trails and examine the trees, the footprints left by deers and other animals. We have so much fun away from the crowds. We play “survivor man.” We collect leaves and jump in them. We hide. We laugh. We run. But I’m complaining about the front yard? I believe in community and caring for our neighbors… but I love the solo time we have. Why would I complain? I think it was another one of those moments in my life where I wasn’t fully aware of what I was saying because I wasn’t living in the moment. Subhana’Allah. How many blessings do we not know we have? How many blessings do we take for granted, thanking Allah for one day and not thanking Him for the next?
For this reason I’ve encouraged Layth to start a Gratitude Journal. I write for him but he tells me what he is grateful for. I started one in the past and abandoned it. It’s time for it to come back out. Alhamdulillah for life and everything we’ve been given. Alhamdulillah for those that remind us, especially when our nafs are stubborn and bitter.
http://themuslimah.com/2009/11/ingratitude-and-gratitude/
